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TITLE: Imitation Bricks (Husbands)

TEXT: 1 Peter 3:7-9

PROPOSITION: Do not replace God’s will with poor substitutes.


KEY WORD: Substitutes



  1. Series on “Building the Home”.
  2. We talked about bricks for husbands and wives.
  3. Today is a warning – do not make cheap substitutes.
  4. Restaurant menu – “No Substitutes”


Provide a Living vs. Sharing a Life

  1. 1 Timothy 5:8 – Provide for your own household
  2. She did not marry your paycheck.
  3. Husband at the grave of his wife – “I gave her everything except myself.”
  4. Suggestions: Give her – Time – Attention – Dates – Understanding – Time off


Demand vs. Managing

  1. Many have developed a “Macho Man” image of manhood.
    1. I rule the roost. She rules the rooster.
    2. Man is head – wife is neck. Neck turns the head.
    3. Boss at work = shout, bully, command, threaten, hot-shot, bark orders
    4. Boss at home = manager, understanding, partner
  3. Quote from Jay Adams in Strike the Original Match, page 63.
  4. Rise in domestic violence, battered wives from a man who MUST BE IN CONTROL!


Smothering vs. Honoring

  1. Honor? Yes! Smother? NO!
  2. Honor = appreciate, allow room, give space, seek advice
  3. Smother = place on shelf, worship, adore, protect
  4. She is not an untouchable, china doll.


Add to the list (vs. 8-9)

  1. Hypocrisy vs. Harmony = of one mind
  2. Self-centered instead of Sympathetic = compassionate
  3. Enemy rather than Brotherly = love as a brother
  4. Pride substituted for Humble
  5. Curt in place of Courteous
  6. Vengeance not better than returning good for evil
  7. Fuss in place of Blessing (so that you will be blessed)



  1. Ecstasy can be become agony.
  2. Stop being “phony” and start being the “real” man of the house.



Husband as Manager


The husband’s job is to manage his family. That is the best translation of the word “proistemi”. The idea is “to preside over.” The picture is of one who has control but does not do everything by himself. As the elder is to a manager of a congregation, so the husband is to be a manager of his home. A good manager knows how to develop, and use the gifts of others. That is what a manger is and that is what a husband is to be.


The husband as head of the home is its manager. He is the head; the head does not do the work of the body. The husband is not to answer every question or think every thought for his wife – exactly not that. Rather, he is to recognize that God gave him a wife to be a helper. A good manager will look at his helper and say, “She has certain abilities. If I am going to manage my household well, I must see that every last one of those gifts is developed and put to use as fully as possible.” He will not want to squash her personality: rather, he will seek to bring it to the fullest flower.


Jay Adams, Christian Living in the Home, 1972, pp. 76-77

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